Book Review - Comic Edition! (The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman)

 I've been a fan of the Walking Dead since the show came out back in 2010. Actually, I remember my first time watching it quite well. It first aired on October 31, 2010. I was exactly 4 years old, and my Halloween costume that year was Glinda the Good Witch of the South from the Wizard of Oz, a movie I could probably still recite every line from to this day. I was waiting to get ready for trick-or-treating, as dinner had not been served yet, and my brother, who was just about to graduate high-school, had it on the TV. My mother didn't know I was there, watching people get eaten by other deceased people and cities going up in flames on our big, old, box television. She was so mad at my brother for letting me watch it with him. I don't even think he knew I was there, we were both so drawn to the show in front of us. 

I probably didn't watch it again until I was around 8 or 9, and I didn't watch it thoroughly in order until my mother subscribed to Netflix when I was around 10-11. I had my own TV in my room and an Xbox, so when I wasn't grinding on my Minecraft world or watching Markiplier FNAF compilations on YouTube, I was likely binge-watching TWD. I also found significant interest in horror and thriller and dystopia entertainment from a very young age, so that's likely why my 4 year old self watched flesh-eating human carcasses with a straight face and Dunkaroos.

Despite my fandom of TWD, I didn't discover it was based off of a comic book until I found a bunch for sale at a flee market a couple years ago. You bet your bottom dollar I waved the entirety of my $5 (found on the bottom of my father's dirty Ford) in that booth-worker's face for as many as I could get. (sadly, it was just one)

When I started as a student librarian, I found out that our library has so many volumes starting right at the very first one. Not all 193, of course, but enough to last an entire school year and counting, as I'm still only on the 8th Volume. Everytime I read one of these comics, I'm always surprised by how different the characters and storylines are. They're mostly all the same characters, so far some of the ones from the show have yet to be introduced in the comic, and some are still alive at points of the story that, in the show, they had been killed off by. There's also relationship differences. For example, Tyreese (who took Daryl's place in the comics as Rick's right-hand-man, as my lover Daddy Daryl still has not been seen in the volumes I've read) and Carol (Abused housewife turns to stone after losing her daughter and absolutely dominates the apocalypse) were in a relationship in the comic, until Michonne (Loner Badass Samauri) seduced him into letting her do sexual things to him. When Carol saw them in the act, she attempted to commit suicide and then confessed her love to Rick. (Rick Grimes- The Leader of the group, Carl's father and Laurie's husband)

...NONE OF THAT HAPPENED IN THE SHOW I WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME?????

Like the comics are just so much more detailed in like every aspect you could think of. The drama, the plot, the character dynamics, the suspense, the graphics, it's just all so much more potent reading the comics. Also in the show, Dale had been like a father figure to both Andrea and her sister Amy(Before she died lol.)

In the comic? THEY'RE LITERALLY IN LOVE. And Herschel? Old man Herschel Greene the veterinarian in the show? HE'S SO HOT IN THE COMICS AND NOT EVEN THAT OLD. Middle-aged at most. Maggie (Herschel's whole daughter) and Glenn (used to deliver pizzas and now blows zombie brains onto the ceiling) are still the same though, thank god. I don't know what I would do without Glaggie. And they still get married too!

Oh, one more thing. In the show, Carol always kept her hair short until the more recent seasons when you see, in my opinion, her character growth at it's prime. She said it was due to the fact that her husband, who died in the first season, used to drag her by her hair, so she cut it off so he never could and kept it that way as it became even more useful in the zombie apocalypse. However, in the comic series, I have not seen her with short hair once, which bummed me a little because it was so iconic in the tv series.

Along with the show and comics, there are also Walking Dead novels. I want to read those too, and I think our library has some but not a lot. I have to check again. I just wanna make sure I can read them in order.

But yeah I think that's really all I have to say about this Comic Series, surprisingly. I'll update this post if I think of anything else.

★★★★★

Book Review: The Narcissist In Your Life - Julie L. Hall

Roughly 2-3 months ago, I ran away from/got kicked out of my mentally and physically abusive household, run by my adoptive mother, who I can now diagnose by proxy due to reading this book as an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and my adoptive father, who would be labeled as the enabler. When I first got away, I was really confused with my situation, what I was going to do moving forward, if anything would have even been worth it in the end. My best friend saw this happening, she could see me hurting, because she was going through something similar herself with her own father. She had purchased this book by Julie L. Hall that was all about having narcissists in your life in any way, whether that be a parent, partner, friend, boss, coworker, you name it. It explains the disorder itself, how to pick out the narcissists in your life, how to handle co-existence with a narcissist, and most significant to me at the time was how to go no-contact with a narcissist in your life and how to look at your future without them from a birds eye view.

She gave the book to me one day, and I instantly started reading. I kid you not, I had only finished the first paragraph when I had realized this book would change my entire thought process. I highlighted almost every single page. Everything explained my mother with spot on accuracy. Not only was I reading everything and seeing my mom and everything she put me through, but I also got an image of how others in her life have perceived her, things I've seen her do to others that I never really saw the problem with in the moment because I was raised to believe she could do no wrong, and if she did she had to have a good reason so to justify it. A narcissist is someone who physically does not hold the ability to truly love anyone, not even fully themselves. They believe they are superior to everyone and thing, and even believe they are above the law. They consistently victimize themselves and will unleash their wrath on anyone who dares disagree with them, voice a different opinion, accomplish goals, become more successful than them, and so on. The disorder itself cannot be medically diagnosed, like many personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder, as people with NPD will likely have a facade for those who may threaten their self esteem if they see what goes on behind that mask. Most narcissists come across to others in a social setting as put together, cleanly, respectable individuals. They don't know how to self reflect, and therefore are unlikely to do so in therapy which makes it hard to see what's really going on and thus come up with an accurate diagnosis and solution.

 The book describes how children in a narcissistic household with multiple siblings will take on roles - ex. The scapegoat is the child who carried most of the hardships and are likely the first to blame for anything that goes wrong, etc, and the golden child is typically the main focus and the narcissistic parents see great fortune in them. I have now identified and labeled all my siblings with the roles that correlated with them when they grew up with my mother, based off of my own experience and what they've told me about theirs.

I mentioned my adoptive father being the enabler- let's break that down. An enabler is somebody who in essence gives the narcissist exactly what they want. They're brainwashed, trapped, head over heels and what not. They allow the narcissist to continue their behaviors and abuse by validating them, justifying their actions, speaking for them, or simply ignoring their antics or undermining them. A lot of the time it is not the enablers fault, nor the narcissist as it's a disorder that cannot be medicated or treated, and therapy may or may not benefit them. In fact, the book stressed that a therapist who is not experienced with NPD and educated on the disorder can enable a narcissistic patient by saying the wrong things, spreading misinformation, validating their actions, etc. Enablers can also be a spouse, family member, parent, golden child, boss, anyone in relation to a narcissist can enable them without even knowing. Enablers can also be referred to as a puppet or proxy, and the narcissist a parasite. This is because a narcissist uses enablers to bully, abuse, and mistreat those they see deserving of their harm. For example, a narcissistic parent may order their spouse to punish their child(ren.)

The Narcissist In Your Life by Julie L. Hall helped me cut contact with my parents and understand what was wrong with my mother and the way my life was living with her. I stopped blaming myself for her actions and the consequences I was the one receiving for those actions that were not mine to suffer from. I stopped asking myself why my parents don't love me, want me, or care. I realized they do, and that I don't hate my mother for putting me through everything, because she was not capable of showing love in any way besides hurt, envy, and manipulation. I now know that if i ever were to have kids, they will have a better life than I ever had, because I had my mother as an excellent role model as to what not to do when raising children. I now know I'm going to be okay, and that the abuse I went through does not nor will ever define me, only help guide me to better things.

I requested Ms. PJ add this book to our library catalogue, because I truly believe and hope that it will help someone, anyone, in a position anything like my own. I'm making my own sister read it to also understand what she went through. If you're struggling with a narcissist in your life, or if you think anyone you know or love or hate may have the disorder, please read this book.

Femme Rage

 Female rage has been a hot topic I've been seeing on social media nonstop for weeks now. As a woman myself, I know the feeling all too well. For me, it's when something happens to me that likely wouldn't have happened if I were a dude or at least male-presenting. I never knew what it actually meant until today when I searched it up.

The Google definition, by Her Campus, states:

"Feminine rage has been explained as an ancestral and inherited response to the struggles, oppressions and wrongdoings that women have been subjected to. I have seen feminine rage described as a compilation of the anger, that our ancestors were not able to express, that is passed down through generations."

PJ gave me an article to read about femme rage and different writers who express their experiences and emotions with it, personally and politically, through their work. What stuck out to me the most was the ideology that women should fit societal standards or their worth is not valuable, not enough. For decades, and still even to this day, misogyny can be seen everywhere you go. From TikTok to ex-boyfriends, especially that one uncle who believes a woman's sole purpose is simply to be a housewife and mother... And makes it very clear at every family gathering. This article particularly reminded me of my mother, who has always been someone to knock down women who did not fit the standards that were engraved in her mind. From appearance to lifestyle, she was always so quick to judge. (She also has NPD, so her mindset is pretty much that she is perfect and there is nobody superior to her.)

I don't think this particularly relates to what the article was about, but I just started thinking about how so many other women I see, in person and online, talk about other women in the same kind of way as the exact men they always complain about. When men do it, it's catcalling and gawking and feeling superiority over the girl they're criticizing. And it is. But I feel as though we've grown so accustomed to it, even bored of it, that we just shrug it off and/or flip them the big bird and move on with our hours. I usually don't feel personally attacked when it happens to me, because a) I know my worth and those pigs would be blessed to have even a penny's worth of it, and b) the world will forever contain at least a handful of men in every city who refuse to get with the program and respect the very beings that allow them life on this earth.

But I think it gets harder for men to respect women when there are so many WOMEN who don't respect women. I don't feel anything but disgust and annoyance when a man says anything in attempt to make a girl feel less than. But when it comes from another woman, it just hurts. Women fought and protested to be seen as equals, but how is that supposed to happen when we aren't treating each other as equals? We should be leading by example so everyone can get a grip. But when a girl tells another girl that what she's doing as a woman is unfeminine, ugly, disgusting, and wrong, she is no better than any man who she knows damn well have said the exact same lines to her when she walks down a street after dark. Femininity and masculinity are terms anyone can use to describe themselves. That's what equality is. Everyone should have the unspoken right to be any version of themselves without question or fear of judgment.

See that? See how I rambled on about my own thoughts of femanine rage? That was femanine rage.

I don't throw like a girl, I throw like a woman.

I have countless memories of her watching television shows and films, and just ripping the actresses and their characters to shreds if they looked like, acted like, or lived like anything my mother disagreed with. Whether that be sexual preference, the choice to be a full-time working mother instead of a stay-at-home caregiver, physical features that she saw as "unfeminine" and so on. We both like the Netflix reality show 'Too Hot To Handle," and we were watching the 4th season one night. One of the singles selected for the season was called Elys, and she was a blonde beach babe. She had the whole sunkissed clean girl, barely any makeup makeup, take her swimming on the first date kind of look. Her eyebrows were obviously laminated, as eyebrow lamination and business has become popular more recently. I remember my mom's exact reaction to her reveal to the show;

"Her eyebrows are so bushy, she has all this money and can't get them done?"

"Mom, she does, that's called eyebrow lamination. Lot's of people are doing it right now."

"Well, she looks like a boy. They're huge."

"*sigh* okay mom."

And for the entirety of the season, my mom HATED Elys. She would call her a bitch through the screen, as if she could hear her. When her and her bedmate would get into arguments or any conflict, mom would just pound her with insults and remarks, even if she was in the right!

Book Review - Punk 57 (Spicy warning)

 About a month ago, my boyfriend gave me his copy of Punk 57 by Penelope Douglas. I didn't know what it was about, and I will read almost anything, so when he told me I should read it, I was like, "okay,"

Now, when he told me it was a smut book, I was like, "HELL YES."

If you're reading this review and you don't know what smut means, I'm not gonna lie, I don't think you're prepared for me to explain this book to you. 

It's sex. I said it. Sex, sex, sex. (Okay well, not all of it, but it's still smut.)

Now, if you've made it past the forbidden 3 letter word without discomfort, I shall proceed.

This book is written from the perspectives of 2 people. Misha Lare is the lead singer of a punk band in Thunder Bay, Ontario. He's the complete bad boy package (and from how he was described without getting to know his personality yet, which isn't that bad other than the stalking and degradation, he's a certified HOTTIE) with a wholesome secret. In grade school, he was assigned to a pen pal named Ryen Trevarrow, who grew a connection with him. They continued writing each other all through high school, with the plot set during Ryen's last year. But when Misha's younger sister, Annie, died suddenly during the night, the night he met Ryen for the first time in person, unbeknownst to her, he stopped writing her. He had made her promise to never stop writing him, so she never did. 

Misha then goes on to squat in an abandoned theme park and take up a fake identity as "Masen Laurent" to attend a school to get back something important belonging to his sister, which had been taken from him. Little does he know, this school is where his beloved pen-pal attends. But she's nothing like how he perceived her to be in those letters that he grew up with. She's a sporty, uppity cheerleader, to the eyes of anyone who sees her. She hangs with a crude, irritating group of popular kids who think they own the place, and the Principal's step-son, who treats Ryen (and all girls) like a piece of meat. But he can see through the facade, and he won't leave town until he gets what he wants, which is the real Ryen he let his guard down for.

I won't be talking about the smut scenes, because this review IS for an assignment, however I'll give it a spice rating of; 

🌶🌶🌶.5 out of 5 peppers.

This book's overall rating for me would be;

★★★☆☆

Text Book Review I: Bird Box - Josh Malerman

 A couple weeks ago I finished reading Bird Box by Josh Malerman. Most will recognize the title from the 2018 film, though the novel actually came first in 2014. I watched the movie when it came out, I watched it so much it was engraved in my brain for so long. However, I didn't know it was based on a novel until I found it in the library while helping Jay (LLS 11 librarian) shelve the paperback fiction. Keep in mind this review is from the perspective of someone who saw the film before the novel, so I'm mostly defining how the novel is different or similar to the movie.

If you have no idea what the plot of Bird Box is, it's set in a post-apocalyptic world, but instead of nukes and zombies, the threat is a force of some sort (they never actually can confirm what this entity is) that makes people go insane. When eye contact is made, individuals become dangerous and hostile, ending their own lives brutally, claiming they've seen something. Something being dead relatives, family, all hallucinations by the looks of it. The odd person who makes eye contact will be sort of immune, becoming tricksters who try to convince anybody they may come across who is still unaffected to look by making it seem like a euphoric experience. The characters who survived do it by covering windows with anything they can find to provide themselves with safe shelter. When they do go outside, into the darkness of the world they now live in, they must wear blindfolds and use string and rope to lead the way and not get lost.

The storyline started off similar to the movie, and I think most of it was pretty relevant to the events in the film, some being different or just altered a little. Although, in the novel, we don't get to see Malorie and her sister Shannon go to the ultrasound appointment and watch that girl kill herself in the hall, in fact, the plot is set before Malorie even confirms her pregnancy. We aren't introduced to Dr. Lapham, who seemed to be a sort of symbolic character in the film, because here she does not exist. When Shannon got affected and killed herself, in the novel, she did it in the bathroom at home, while Malorie was downstairs. In the film, she steps in front of a moving truck while looking right at Malorie. In the book, Malorie then drives to the house where she meets Tom, Jules (and his dog, Victor,) Felix, Don, and later on Olympia. This house was actually broadcast on the radio as a sanctuary for survivors. In the film, Malorie was practically right in front of this house, which couldn't have been broadcast because it was right when everything began to spiral in their world. Also, there was never a dog. Only the birds, hence the title. The last event from the novel different from the film that I can think of is the part where Malorie is attacked by wolves on the river. ....What? I never would have expected that, but it made the story a little more chilling.

The characters were quite different in the novel, and that was the main thing I noticed. Besides the lack of the doctor and dogs, The film had more characters. Lucy, the cop who hooked up with Felix and then dipped with him, taking the car and a bunch of food, was never introduced, along with Charlie, the man who worked at the grocery store and led the group to it when the outbreak started in the film. However, the store was mentioned in the book, so Charlie may have died before Malorie arrived in this scenario. A lot of the characters that were in both the movie and the book have different names. Olivia in the film is Olympia in the novel, Don is Douglas, and I believe Jules is actually Greg in the movie, as he's the homeowner.

I can't say I liked one more than the other. I enjoyed both the novel and the film for different reasons, and I don't think any of the differences affect the story and its relevance to me. I do think that I would recommend watching the film before reading the book if you haven't already, which I usually would never advise. But in this case, like many others, this story is very fun to visualize and I feel like watching the film first gave me the best advantage for imagination.

My rating: ★★★☆☆

Reviewing Book Reviews (LILS 12 intro)

 Welcome back tiny blog ! I liked ya so much I came back. 😉

For my first blog of the semester, I've read 3 book reviews of my top reads so far. Here are my reviews of these reviews; 

1. http://www.confessionsofabookaddict.com/2011/11/book-review-something-borrowed-by-emily.html

💭 I liked this review by Christina because the blog was charming, with pastel colours and pictures of herself with the author and smiling warmly, and it started out with a Goodreads review followed by her own. Her review not only focused on the book itself but also the author, Emily Giffen, as she'd had the experience of meeting her at a book signing. When the book was being described, it did so smoothly. It pretty much said exactly what my brain thought the entire time I read Something Borrowed. The predictability of Darcy's type, deluded, self-centred party girl. The best friend in Darcy's shadow having an affair with her fiancee, Rachel (the shadow) now has to decide whether or not to fight for her childhood friendship or a love that may last a lifetime. The review explained it all with Christina's own emotions put into it. 

2. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/apr/30/nest-kenneth-oppel-jon-klassen-review

💭 "The Nest" by Kenneth Oppel was my favourite book to read when I was intermediate in elementary school. Even to this day, I could probably read it over and over again. This book review, written by Marcus Sedgwick, describes Steve's story flawlessly, quoting the most relevant quotes from the book, without giving too much away. Sedgwick's review also recognizes the thought and personality he puts into his characters, with Steve's allergy to the wasps, and his past with OCD, not to mention the attention it shines on the relationship between him and his younger sister. Reading this review, I also remembered a lot about the book and how I felt every time I read it. I remember the first time I picked it up in 7th grade for silent reading. This review described that perfectly.

3. https://culturefly.co.uk/book-review-love-in-winter-wonderland-by-abiola-bello/

💭 I read Love In Winter Wonderland during the season, and it was by far one of my top YA romances this last year. I'm pretty sure this review was the longest of the 3 I chose, and that also gave the most detailed description of the novel without giving too much away about the actual story. It described Trey and Ariel (main characters) exactly how I would if I were to write my own review, delving into their reputations, characteristics, and personal goals. The text also kind of tickles the historical theme of the book, with Ariel's end goal of attending an Artist Studio in the footsteps of her father, and also Trey's family's independent book shop that's been carried through generations. It also delves into their personal issues, like Ariel's binge-eating disorder, Trey's complicated relationship with Blair and even a little about his crippling stage fright.

I also have been on the  #BookTok side of my TikTok for you page for a while now, so here are some of my favourite booktokkers to watch reviews/recommendations!

@jolie_reads on TikTok - I just really like her vibe and we have a very similar book style. I also love the room that she makes her BookToks in and the fact that she has so many books she reached library status is insane to me and I literally want to be her.

@storieswithsierra on TikTok - I depend on her for horror/thriller recommendations.

Ideal Imaginary Library

 I made a website for my invisioned ideal Library website. It's based off of Royale High from Roblox. This High school campus is in Berlin, Germany, because Europe is very like royal idk. My first choice was gonna be England but that's too basic. This is like a fairy tail fantasy kind of school, like princesses and princes and ogres and witches (etc) attend. 

https://royalehighlearningcommons.godaddysites.com/